|Background here. The rest is my own.|
Baby J. must have been hoping I'd feel special.
But I don't.
I feel gross,disgusted, and am still rubbing disinfectant on my hand. Make that hands.
Here's the scope.
Hubby and I decided to have Baby J.'s bath time early today. Our schedule was a little bit overflowing with things we needed to get done. So, Baby J.'s bath time got moved up.
Well, everything was going splendidly. The water was the perfect temperature, Baby J. was happy and enjoying his toys and water time. Yes, everything was truly going wonderfully well.We managed to get him washed and rinsed of all the shampoo with very little fuss and were commenting to each other on how well today's bath time was going.
Hubby then scooped up the little man from the water and quickly handed him to me. My job is to always have the towel ready to wrap around Baby J. as soon as he's out of the warm water so that he won't get cold. There I am holding Baby J. with his back to me (he was facing Hubby), one hand under his towel covered bottom and the other across his chest.
That's when it happened.
The my hand holding Baby's towel covered bottom started feeling a peculiar warmth. I looked up at hubby and saw him stare at Baby J., then he started smiling and that's when I realized Baby J. had peed on my hand. Well, in the towel which my hand was touching.
If only he had stopped there. Instead I started hearing the way to familiar sounding grunts that meant Baby J. was attempting to empty his bowels. I'll remember the following moments forever. There he was struggling to poop and then it hit the towel. And started running through the material and filling up my hand. I stared at Hubby in horror and shouted "Oh my goodness! He pooped! IN MY HAND!"
To which the love of my life responded with a laugh that literally had him doubling over. And he continued to laugh until tears were rolling down his face. Realizing that Hubby would be of no help to me I thought I should probably exchange my dirty hand for the clean hand while also wiping his bottom best I could with the towel and throwing it off to the side. So, I did. Only to feel another bout of liquid burst into my hand all over again.
This time there was no towel barrier between the poop and my poor, clean hand.
Hubby took one look at the situation and almost died of laughter.
And I, well I couldn't believe it. I had gotten pooped on TWICE!! In a five minute period! I was ready to cry. And laugh at the impossibility of this happening to me twice within five minutes.
Turning back around to the bathtub, I gently lowered Baby J. back in and started the shower head this time with Hubby still trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard in the background. That's when Hubby decided to update me on my current standing in the Everyday Mommy Headquarters.
"Sweetie," he said," you know I think you've been promoted to Poop Handler."
Wonderful.Absolutely wonderful. Just the promotion I was hoping for.
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